mixed feelings about graduation
Sunday, February 16, 2014
sommelier graduation has come and gone.
i didn't realize that the end of the program would bring me a sense of sadness. i've had a bit of time to process my journey over the last two years. i remember when i started the program, many felt that it wasn't a good thing for me to do. the reasons ranged from my physical health to my emotional health. even knowing this, i went ahead with it anyway ..
i sought the approval of my doctors before enrolling. my family doctor didn't approve. my specialist gave me his blessing but on the condition that i be sensible about it. at the time, if both doctors said no, then i'd strongly reconsider but i had already made up my mind to do it. throughout the program, i did not take this "blessing" for granted. there was always a voice in my head that said if i did anything to screw up my health, i wouldn't be able to finish the program. this voice kept me in check and not once did i overindulge or drink to cover up pain or fill a void (and there was a lot of pain during the time).
it took a long time for my family to accept this new hobby of mine and because of that, i never really got to talk about my experiences early on. with every course i completed, i got better and better at it and i wasn't able to share the joy i had in my accomplishments. although my original intention was to impress someone, it started to change as i progressed. i discovered that being in school and learning something new .. was a part of me that i really missed. i rediscovered who i was .. and i started to become truly happy again. i set my sights on the excellence award. i believed that i could be a contender for the award, despite the lack of wine tasting experience.
i worked hard at the theoretical aspects and it helped me become a better taster. yes, there are some benefits to sampling a lot of different wines to help you become a better blind taster but for someone like me, i relied on my knowledge of winemaking and viticultural practices to help me become a better blind taster. if you know how it's grown, how it's made, and where it is from .. you can pretty much figure out what's in your glass.
the service exam was probably the most difficult test in the entire program. there was no way to practice for this. i remember putting together my wine list for the exam. i remember losing sleep and worrying that i wouldn't be able to pronouce any of the wines on my list. i also remember feeling defeated throughout the mock service, despite judge and wine critic Vic Harradine telling me that i was doing an excellent job. when it was all said and done, i scored an A+.
i wish i had better news to report in this post but my grades weren't enough to win the award on grad night. i felt like i let myself down but i know that it wasn't meant to be. the original intention to win the award was to prove myself to someone who really didn't matter. and because of this, i knew that it wasn't going to happen. the lesson that He would have me learn is that it is more important to believe in myself than to look for the approval of others. and that i cannot change others - the only person i can change is myself. i understand that now. maybe if i believed in myself from the beginning, the story would have ended differently.
there is still more studying to be done. wset level 3 exam is coming up and i've got to do my best .. for once, this was something i chose to enrol in because i believed in myself. after this, my tasting group is looking to register for wset diploma (level 4) - a pre-requisite to Master of Wine. let's just take this one step at a time, shall we?
i didn't realize that the end of the program would bring me a sense of sadness. i've had a bit of time to process my journey over the last two years. i remember when i started the program, many felt that it wasn't a good thing for me to do. the reasons ranged from my physical health to my emotional health. even knowing this, i went ahead with it anyway ..
i sought the approval of my doctors before enrolling. my family doctor didn't approve. my specialist gave me his blessing but on the condition that i be sensible about it. at the time, if both doctors said no, then i'd strongly reconsider but i had already made up my mind to do it. throughout the program, i did not take this "blessing" for granted. there was always a voice in my head that said if i did anything to screw up my health, i wouldn't be able to finish the program. this voice kept me in check and not once did i overindulge or drink to cover up pain or fill a void (and there was a lot of pain during the time).
it took a long time for my family to accept this new hobby of mine and because of that, i never really got to talk about my experiences early on. with every course i completed, i got better and better at it and i wasn't able to share the joy i had in my accomplishments. although my original intention was to impress someone, it started to change as i progressed. i discovered that being in school and learning something new .. was a part of me that i really missed. i rediscovered who i was .. and i started to become truly happy again. i set my sights on the excellence award. i believed that i could be a contender for the award, despite the lack of wine tasting experience.
i worked hard at the theoretical aspects and it helped me become a better taster. yes, there are some benefits to sampling a lot of different wines to help you become a better blind taster but for someone like me, i relied on my knowledge of winemaking and viticultural practices to help me become a better blind taster. if you know how it's grown, how it's made, and where it is from .. you can pretty much figure out what's in your glass.
the service exam was probably the most difficult test in the entire program. there was no way to practice for this. i remember putting together my wine list for the exam. i remember losing sleep and worrying that i wouldn't be able to pronouce any of the wines on my list. i also remember feeling defeated throughout the mock service, despite judge and wine critic Vic Harradine telling me that i was doing an excellent job. when it was all said and done, i scored an A+.
i wish i had better news to report in this post but my grades weren't enough to win the award on grad night. i felt like i let myself down but i know that it wasn't meant to be. the original intention to win the award was to prove myself to someone who really didn't matter. and because of this, i knew that it wasn't going to happen. the lesson that He would have me learn is that it is more important to believe in myself than to look for the approval of others. and that i cannot change others - the only person i can change is myself. i understand that now. maybe if i believed in myself from the beginning, the story would have ended differently.
there is still more studying to be done. wset level 3 exam is coming up and i've got to do my best .. for once, this was something i chose to enrol in because i believed in myself. after this, my tasting group is looking to register for wset diploma (level 4) - a pre-requisite to Master of Wine. let's just take this one step at a time, shall we?
1 comments:
Congratulations again on finishing! It is no small feat and though there is the disappointment of not getting the award, it does not in anyway shadow what a great achievement this is. I am most happy though that this experience allowed you to rediscover yourself and be happy with who you are. :) I've never done a tasting menu with wine pairings before (always wanted to but no point when the person you dine with doesn't really drink :P). So we need to meet up (either TO or Ottawa) and go out and celebrate and you can critique whether the wine pairings are appropriate! :)
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