she works hard for the money ...

november was officially crazy.

clocked over 200 hrs of work last month and all billable hours.  everyone has been saying to me .. "wow, you must be rich these days".  me?  no.  the company?  perhaps.  it really makes no difference to me because i don't see most of it.

i took on a challenging piece of work on the project so i put in a lot of time to make the feature better.  it's a high profile piece so the end result would mean job security for a while .. and a well paid job to boot.

although it is tiring some times, it makes me really look forward to the weekends.  but last month, i've worked every single weekend as well as holidays (ie. remembrance day).  now i'm in the final push .. if only i can make it until christmas.  only then will i be able to take a few days off before it starts all over again.  release date for our project is jan 15th and so much has to get done.  even with a team of 10 testers, there's a lot of work to go around.

on the sporty side, badminton has been fun.  i play with a great bunch of guys and a few girls here and there.  i've noticed that i'm pretty quiet these days and i keep to myself a lot.  probably because i'm so committed to work that i don't accept social invitations as much.  i've got to learn to balance that a bit more.

i have been taking care of myself.  i'm not as hard on myself when certain chores don't get done right away.  i do get to them but i don't sweat it.  i eat well .. very well.  it doesn't mean filet mignon and truffles every night.  it means lots of fresh organic produce, higher quality protein.  i still find time to hit the gym and stay in shape.  and once a month, i will do a girls' night with my closest girl friends.  oh and every once in a while, i'll be bad and sneak in some potato chips.  my vice .. :)

december is fast approaching and soon it will be new year's.  i'm pretty happy with the way 2014 turned out.  i'm looking forward to 2015.  one of my best friend's just got engaged and i'll be helping her plan her wedding.  i'm going on the assumption that i'll be invited so i'm looking at a dress for myself .. i just love shopping for cocktail dresses.

these days, i'm obsessed with dresses by sue wong.  the dresses aren't cheap but you only live once, right?  :)  if i find the right dress, i'll be sure to post it here.

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September, where did you go?

September was a great month.  i started out taking a short weekend trip to Halifax, Nova Scotia.  i didn't have the funds to join my family on their cruise vacation but i needed a break badly.  the entire summer was spent working long hours.  i barely took any time off except when i really had to for medical appointments.  despite working the long hours, i still didn't have the means to take an extravagant trip .. so what does a girl do?  two words: AIR MILES.  :)

i funded my entire trip with air miles.  i've been collecting for a while now and what a better time to use them!  i just had to pay for the taxes which was minimal.  but i spent a wonderful three days in Nova Scotia .. and i didn't have to sacrifice a work day.  the weather was perfect and i saw almost everything i wanted to see .. from wineries in Wolfville, to the tides at Blomidon Park, Peggy's Cove, Lunenburg, Mahone Bay .. by the end of the trip, the rental car's service light came on.  :)  same thing happened when i went to Kelowna a few years ago.  also, i think i put close to 800 km on the car in 3 days!!  nuts eh??

but it was so much fun.  i am definitely going back because i didn't get to see Cape Breton Island.  a nice retired couple said i had to come back to see it but i needed more time because the drive from the airport to CBI was about 3 hrs way.  apparently it's stunning out there.

on the work front, i recently interviewed for a new contract position and got the job.  the great thing about the new job is that it pays more than my current contract.  but i recently switch projects at my current contract and i am starting to love my job again.  and when i say 'love my job' .. i really do love it.  i go to work early, stay late, i am really focused on the tasks, and it challenges me in new ways.  i have a great boss, brilliantly fun team members .. since it was so difficult to leave the team, i've offered to work part time on with them since my new job is in the same building.  i'll work at the new job from 8 to 4 and then from 4 to 7, i will work part time at my second job.  i know it sounds like a huge undertaking but it's temporary and when you love what you do, it won't feel like work.  i mean heck .. even now, i work long hours and i still have the energy to play badminton!

Speaking of badminton, life isn't all work and no play though.  I joined a competitive badminton club this year.  finally made the jump to the Westboro badminton club.  on any given night, there are maybe 3-4 female players including me out of 50 players.  i don't mind as long as the games are decent.  i need to be careful though .. my shoulder has been bothering me a bit.  which reminds me .. i need to hit the gym for some strengthening exercises.

at month end, i volunteered at the Ontario Wine challenge on behalf of the National Sommelier Guild.  yup, my first serving experience.  i think the organizers were extra concerned for me because i had this fearful/nervous look on my face all day.  but i did it .. no wine spilled, no glasses broken.  i also scored tickets to the Ottawa Food & Wine show.  i got to see all of the wine submissions for the OWC.  other volunteers were eager to try some of the wine .. me?  no thanks.  i wasn't impressed with the line up of wines.  most were general list wines available at the LCBO.  they are not the best wines produced by the wineries .. in fact, my friend Evan was one of the wine judges and even he could tell they were mediocre wines.  it's like why would Beringer submit a wine from their low end Stone Cellars line when they have Knight's Valley which is one of their better mid range wines?

despite that, the experience was great.  i even brought my camera and took some photos of my favorite wine judges. i might also be volunteering my sommelier skills at the tutored tasting sessions at the Food & Wine show.  it'll be a completely different environment so hopefully i'll get better with practice.

with my busy schedule, i missed out on harvest at Norm Hardie's this year.  it was a real bummer because i've participated in the last few years.  i had a dental appointment scheduled that morning :(

after catching up with Evan, i realized how much i missed wine education.  he and my WSET classmates have moved on to the diploma program.  i was really hoping to join them but my health issues at the time prevented me from doing it.  now that my health issues have cleared up, i am looking to go back for more .. maybe French Wine Society?  :)  stay tuned.

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Good bye summer

I know it's a bit too early to say it but I'm glad that the summer is coming to an end soon.  Autumn has always been my favorite season so I can't wait for it's arrival!

I worked a lot over the summer and focused a lot on making my health a priority.  Well, much of that has paid off.  I went for a check up and my test results came back normal.  I guess the previous test results were just a one time spike.  My doctors were happy and so was I .. For months, I worried that my wine courses were beginning to damage my health despite being extremely careful.  I thought that maybe my health was weakening due to all of the tastings I had participated in.  But it was actually okay.  My cautiousness was a good thing.

I still enjoy wine but it's not a daily practice any more.

During my previous exam, I thought the doctor told me I had developed fat in my liver.  It scared the heck out of me.  A fatty liver is an invitation to cirrhosis and that is just plain bad.  I researched ways to reduced or eliminate this and the only way to fix it, was with diet and exercise.  This was the real reason why I started insanity.  I needed something that would kick my butt hard because the gym thing wasn't working.  I needed something that would make me work and sweat.  A large part of a successful weight loss program is diet.  So it wasn't just about doing the exercises.  I had revamped my diet and I'm beginning to see the changes.

I confirmed with the doctors whether my liver was showing signs of fat deposits and he said no.  All along, my results never mentioned any signs of a fatty liver.  It was just my own misinterpretation.  Whew!  Was I doing insanity all for nothing?  Well .. Even though it turned out to be a false alarm, it was much needed.

I can finally breathe a sigh of relief.  

To celebrate, I got my hair done by my favorite stylist.  I've got a couple of girls night dinners coming up and I'm excited to face the rest of the year.

For some reason, I feel blessed and grateful for all that has happened.  I'm one of the lucky ones. 

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more decisions ..

i was back in toronto for a brief visit around the end of June.  usually i don't have time to see friends because my time is usually taken up by family.  i don't visit toronto as often as i used to so when i do, it is likely a family birthday or holiday (like Mother's day) and that means family time.  i want to say that it's not because i don't want to see my friends though.  i do miss them .. but i can't take that much time off so visits are short.

during my visit in June, i manage to fit in some friends time!  woohoo!  i met up with my old colleague, Gav.  we had been talking about getting me to move back to toronto for a few months and that he was looking to hire someone in the QA department.  after our meeting, i learned about the company and what the job would be like.  i was sold.  i loved the opportunity and prepared myself to take the job.  i started looking at apartments in downtown toronto, i looked at what badminton clubs were around and affordable, i looked at what it would take to sell my home in ottawa.  and the more i looked into this, the more my happy image of a smooth move back started to break down.

my housing options in toronto were pretty bleak.  everything was smaller and more expensive .. with an emphasis on expensive.  expensive would mean that i might have to give up joining a badminton club.  the good badminton clubs in toronto are also expensive.  gas, car insurance, property tax, etc .. more expensive.  would i be able to support myself in the long run?  i wasn't so sure any more.

then i looked at moving.  my mortgage is a closed mortgage and it renews in 2016 .. if i pay off the mortgage before 2016, i'd be paying a penalty.  the mortgage wouldn't be the only thing that i would be paying a penalty for cancelling before the renewal period.  i had other contracts that i had committed to that also expire in 2016.  the amount of furniture and stuff that i own is crazy.  i would never be able to fit all of this in a 1 bedroom condo.  i would have to sell of everything at a loss and then repurchase something new - cha ching.  i had a real estate agent take a look at my house for an estimate and i wasn't impressed.

overall, i was at a financial disadvantage.  but most important to me .. i did not want to 'start over' again at this age.  i hate moving and i would want my move back to toronto to be the final move i ever do.  but my dream is not to live in a 1 bedroom condo with hopes to move into a house of some sort later on.  let's be honest, owning a house with a single income is difficult.  and i'm actually living my dream right now - it's just that it's not in toronto.  i love the home i have and i love being responsible for me.  ottawa is affordable but it's not home.  that's the only drawback.

so i had to turn down the job offer.  it hurt so much because i really wanted the job.  the work was what i wanted.  but work is only one half of the 'work/life balance' equation.  i couldn't find a way to make the 'life' part work.  it saddened me because i wanted to move back but it just didn't make financial sense.  yes, i love my family and friends .. but in the end, i have to take care of me.  i have to support myself and i have to do what is best for me.

i also found time to see sluggyb while in toronto.  we met up in parkdale for tacos at the Grand Electric.  we both tried the scrapple - which is ground up cow parts formed into a patty and then deep fried.  the scrapple was the meat item in a taco.  with all the sauces and deep frying, you could barely tell what it was.  i dunno, i can't say that i'm on the taco bandwagon.  i think that the toppings can be overwhelming flavour-wise and it causes the taco to break apart in your hand, creating a huge mess.  it was good but two was enough for me.  the after lunch gelato was tasty though .. i had a lemon and olive oil gelato which was quite nice.

after getting through that period, i started to focus on life in ottawa.  i had held off on joining a badminton club in the 2014-2015 season but now i can decide which club suits me.  i am also thinking of going back to school to take photography courses.  i've always enjoyed school but i've also found that claiming tuition boosts my income tax return.  it's win-win.  :)

i've been pretty good on the wine front.  recently i sold part of my wine collection to a friend of mine.  i had three bottles of wine from my BC trip that has been aging in my cellar.  i didn't want them to go to waste so i sold them - if i can't enjoy them, i would want them to go to someone who would appreciate them.  my former classmate and friend, Shawn bought them.  i've been alcohol free since my WSET 3 exam and worked on my health.  insanity is fantastic .. i'm on to month 2 now and oh my word .. it's so hard!  but so much fun.  i just love pushing myself physically because i know i can do this.

i'm preparing myself for my next specialist visit in August.  i hope that my results will be better.  i've altered my lifestyle for the better.  i've always ate healthy - there is hardly any processed foods in my home.  everything is fresh and cooked from scratch.  in the last few months, i've cut down on carbohydrates - i limit my bread intake to just pita bread.  i don't eat any other bread.  i don't eat rice that often any more - instead, i have organic quinoa.  i eat a ton of veggies - cabbage, kale, leeks, broccoli, cauliflower, tomatoes, cucumbers, etc.  i buy locally grown veggies and organic whenever possible.  i still play badminton once a week with an advanced group of players.  i'm always drenched in sweat after 3 hrs of badminton.  sometimes even i can't believe i can play like this at my age.  :)

i could really use a vacation but i'm enjoying my routine so far.  maybe vacation will be a trip to the spa.  with labour day, thanksgiving, and remembrance day in the next few months, i think that should be enough of breaks to keep me going until christmas.

life is good ..

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food, visits, and Insanity

time to catch up on my blog .. let's see, where did i leave off?

ah yes .. WSET Advanced Level III .. the results are in ..
theory - pass with merit
tasting - pass with distinction
overall - pass with merit

argh!  i missed an overall pass with distinction by a hair.  i was actually quite disappointed with myself.  usually i'm better at the theory portion but i've gained a lot of confidence in my blind tasting skills.  less than 50% of the class passed so it wasn't an easy exam.  my mentor was proud of my accomplishment - i went into the WSET program without having to take Level 1 or 2.  i also had to learn the WSET tasting note system which is entirely different from how we took tasting notes at Algonquin.  it really helped that i studied with some of the best sommelier students from my Algonquin days.  the four of us would volunteer to provide tasting notes verbally at every class.  the only way to get better is to participate and not be afraid to get it wrong.  i think that was a contributing factor to our success.  i should be picking up my certificate and pin soon - yes, there is a pin for Level III!

after the exam, i stepped away from wine.  i took a clean break from it and started to focus on my health.  i started hitting the gym again and did some research on food source.  it led me to the world of grass-fed beef and free range pork.  i'm not a vegetarian by any means and i appreciate a good steak .. but i've always wanted to know what the big deal was with grass-fed beef and free range pork.  i contacted dan o'brien of O'Brien Farms in Winchester, Ontario to talk about his cattle.  i drove out to Winchester one afternoon to meet with dan in person.  he had quite the operation and it was so cool to see these beautiful animals up close.  it was so much better than going to a regular farm even though this farm only had cows.  we walked through the pen .. i saw how well the cattle were treated.  the type of cow used for producing their beef is the simmental breed.  they are never injected with hormones, no antibiotics, and no GMO (genetically modified) feed.  they go through intense grazing in the pasture and are rotated on a daily basis.  they are not packed into tight quarters so they get a lot of free space to move around in.  it was kind of funny when they hear our footsteps approaching, they all come stampeding out of the pen.  dan says they think it's a wolf approaching so they are running away.  how cute. :)  at the end of my visit, i was able to purchase some steaks at a very decent discount.  at the time i didn't know it but dan's beef is sold at a premium in high end butcheries and restaurants.  when i made one of the striploins, i was blown away.  i've never had a striploin that was so flavourful and so tender.  there was absolutely no smell when i opened the package and it cooked up nicely on my grill.  i learned a lot from dan and he has become a great resource for excellent beef.  most commercial grade beef is produced from cows that are corn-fed with who knows what to allow cows to get bigger faster.  cattle is usually kept in tight quarters so there is little room for them to move around.  the resulting product is generally bland and if there are any antibiotic or gmo injections, it's in the meat that you are consuming.

after my beef experience, i moved on to the world of free range pork.  most of the pork found in regular supermarkets tends to cook up dry.  i've never been able to cook a decent pork chop because it always ends up dry.  ida vallincourt of Pork of Yore suggested that i go to Brian's Butchery to try their pork.  the pigs at Pork of Yore are free range heritage breeds - they have two different breeds: tamworth and berkshire.  free range means they roam freely in their natural environment and are given a lot of space to lounge around in.  they are fed a natural feed of grass and grains but also no antibiotics or gmo products.  the meat is slightly darker than what you see in supermarkets.  the pork chops i bought, had this rim of fat around the meat.  usually we don't eat the fat because it's not good for you, right?  apparently the fat from the free range pork is good for you because it contains none of that saturated fat (ie bad fat) and boy, was that rim of fat tasty.  the meat had a slight smoky (think bacon) flavour.  the pork chops i had were from a berkshire pig.  i met ida at the farmer's market recently and we had a long discussion about their pigs.  one of these days, i'm going to head to their farm to see the piggies up close.

next up, i will be trying free range chickens and farm fresh eggs.  my source?  beking farms.  they are known for their farm fresh eggs and i'm excited to see how they compare to regular store bought eggs.  apparently there is a difference - not only in taste but in price!  i don't mind paying a premium if it is top quality protein.   hopefully by my next post, i'll have an update.

as i mentioned earlier, i've started hitting the gym and my friend mentioned that he was exercising as well.  he started the Insanity program.  hmm, really?  i borrowed the dvds from him and decided to give it a go myself.  omg, the first few days was brutal but i got used to it fast.  am i seeing results?  well, slowly .. with all exercise programs, diet plays a huge part in the success or failure of the program.  they say that diet is 90% of the program.  it is important to eat right so that the muscles have fuel.  most people think that all they have to do is cardio or weights but when you start to exercise like that, you need to increase your caloric intake with the right foods.  my weight gain was caused by the fact that i cut down my caloric intake when i wasn't hitting the gym as often.  i thought .. since i'm not exercising to burn off these calories, i should just consume less so there is less to burn.  make sense right?  no.  what happened was that by eating less, i put my body into starvation mode.  i drastically reduced my metabolism (bad) and every bit of food was being stored because of this starvation mode.  a trainer scolded me and said no, you have to eat and eat good fats.  you need fat in order to lose weight.  so i started to eat good fats like avocado, raw almonds, and greek yogurt for added protein.  i cut down on rice consumption - very difficult for an Asian person.  when i do have rice, it's 25% jasmine rice and 75% red rice which is better for you.  i also cut down on bread and pasta.  cutting down doesn't mean cutting out.  i still have them, but just not as often as i used to.  pasta is something i have once a week and usually on tuesday/wednesdays because i need carbs for badminton.  one thing i cannot do - brown rice pasta.  ugh!  my sister gave me some and i tried it the other day .. it's the most disgusting thing i've made.  it tasted funny.  i know my sister meant well but it was not good.  i feel sorry for anybody who is on a gluten-free diet.  :)  (side note:  going gluten-free when you don't have celiac disease is not a good thing.  a lot of celebrities swear by it but it's not a good diet for those who don't have an aversion to gluten).

i must say, the workouts have had a positive impact on me.  it used to be tough to drag me out of bed in the morning but after the intense Insanity workouts, i get myself out of bed a lot earlier and without that feeling of dread.  i have more energy and i feel quite good.  that's the important part.

lastly, i made two trips back to Toronto in a span of two weeks.  the first trip back, my brother was in town with his family.  i don't see them that often so any chance i get, i would make the 4 hr drive to spend time with everyone.  with everyone together, it was the right time to go to the cemetery to pay our annual respects to our grandparents.  visiting the cemetery might sound creepy but i make it fun and educational for the kids .. i quizzed my niece Amanda on her math skills by having her determine the age of the deceased.  you could see the wheels turning in her head as she would do the calculations.  i also printed off some sheet music for my oldest niece Amelia - the song was "All of Me" by John Legend.  Amelia hasn't been enthusiastic about piano but i wanted to give her something fun to work towards.  she was excited to have the sheet music for this song that she liked.  she told me that her classmates all knew how to play the song.

two weeks later, i drove back to celebrate Mother's day with my mom.  we had a barbeque at my sister's place and while i was there, Amelia pulled out the sheet music for "All of Me" and played for me.  she wasn't perfect but i was happy to see that in two weeks of secretly practicing, she played very well.  i gave her a second song to learn - "Listen to your heart" by DHT & Kelly Clarkson.  she and Amanda listened to the song and smiled.  it's not from their generation but they both liked the song.  can't wait to hear them play during my next visit.

mother's day was great.  i took mom for breakfast at a local diner.  she loves her bacon and eggs!  :)  i think being able to take her out and chauffeur her around makes her happy.  she doesn't drive and relies on others a lot.  she is never afraid to ask me to drive her anywhere .. i even drove her out to a temple on the west end of the city.  she had been wanting to go to the temple to see the plaque for my grandparents.  when we got to the temple, she said she forgot the plaque number.  sigh .. :)  luckily, she showed me the night before so it was still fresh in my head.  (mom, what would you do without me?? :)  we spent some time checking out the temple, i said my prayers, and we each made a donation.  i wrote my mom's name and my name in the donations book.  i thought it was good mother/daughter time.

anyway, that's a long update .. it's time for some insanity plyometric cardio and P90X ab ripper.  have a great weekend!

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Roadblocks

In a recent visit to the hospital for a check up, I was advised by my doctor to give wine education a break.  Although my doctor did not explicitly say 'no, you cannot continue' .. he wasn't as supportive as he was in the past and suggested that maybe I should think about other avenues of the hospitality industry.

My test results were showing a negative trend so before it gets worse, it was best that I give the wine thing a rest before making any new plans for more wine education.

To be honest, taking a break from wine education was something I wanted to do anyway so I wasn't too disappointed when the doctor didn't give me his thumbs up. Don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy wine education.  As I've said before, there is something about the complexity and challenge about it that makes me feel alive.  It requires me to think on so many levels that it keeps me sharp.

WSET was intense and challenging but I somehow felt that I took it at the wrong time.  The period between December and February was tough for me.  There were many business/work related tasks that required my attention that I often had to put studying and hobbies aside - which meant that wine had to take a back seat.  I wasn't happy that I had give up study time for business matters but business matters is what pays the bills so I had to give that my full attention.

I was stressed out to the max but there was no time to curl up in the fetal position and cry about it.  I'm a tough cookie and us Ng girls don't deal with stress that way.  I kept my head down and worked through that to-do list.  I told myself that I'll take a break when it's over.  I stopped going to badminton, I cancelled all social meetings, and skipped all wine tastings.  I had no life.  But boy, the month went by slowly and every day, there was an urgent issue to deal with.  I barely had time to make an appointment to get my car in for service.

I managed to fit in 1 weekend of studying for my WSET exam.  My instructor said if you want to pass with "distinction", you should read the book at least 4 times.  Sigh .. I only read the book once.  I spent my time focused on the theoretical material and less on the tasting.  My tasting skills are pretty sharp, despite not practicing at all.

On exam night, the blind tasting portion of the exam was first.  We had to produce tasting notes for 1 white and 1 red.  I wrote the tasting note for the white.  We were given a choice of three wines that it could be.  My notes concluded that it was a Pouilly-Fuisse.  I moved on to the red.  I wrote the tasting note for the red.  When I looked at my choices, there was a Cotes du Rhone Villages, Barbaresco, or New Zealand Pinot Noir.  Right away, I knew it wasn't the Barbaresco.  Italian reds are one of the easiest reds to pick out and this was definitely not Italian.  Pinot or Cotes du Rhone Villages?  Based on my tasting note, there wasn't enough Pinot characteristic to strongly conclude that it was a Pinot Noir.  It did have a lot of characteristics of the varietals that you see in Cotes du Rhone so that was my decision.  After talking to my tasting group members, most had chosen Pouilly-Fuisse for the white but New Zealand Pinot Noir for the red.  I admit, I started to doubt myself .. after all, I don't practice tasting at all.  But based on my theoretical knowledge, I couldn't make that conclusion.  When the wines were revealed, the white was a Pouilly-Fuisse .. and the red was a Cotes du Rhone Villages.  Not bad for a theory-based wine taster, eh?  :)

The written exam was tough but not because the questions were difficult.  When we wrote exams at Algonquin, there would be a lot of time left to double .. even triple check your answers.  For the WSET theory exam, there was absolutely no time to go back and check your work.  You had to be sure of your answer.  The written portion was like a chemistry exam and the Chem Eng student in me was so into it.  I wrote like mad .. at some point, I just thought .. you need to give me more space to explain this because I could go on and on about this!  I know .. NERD alert.  My hand hurt but I was glad it was over.  I hope I passed ..

But you knew that this is how it would end up .. just when I'm getting really good at this, I have to stop pursuing it.  I would have been a great candidate for WSET Diploma but I can't do it for the sake of my health.  But I'll probably be okay with a sommelier pin and a WSET Advanced Level 3 certificate.  (BTW, when you finish WSET Diploma, a pin is awarded .. I would have loved to get another pin!)

As always, I try to look at the lessons that I'm being taught.  If I were to guess, I think the lessons this is trying to teach me are ..
1. Trust my instincts.  There have been countless times during my sommelier course tasting exams where I doubted my own skills and went against my instincts.  And it was during those time that I would score poorly on tasting exams.  My gut answer was correct but because I doubted myself, I chose the wrong answer.  For this tasting exam, I was going to choose the New Zealand Pinot Noir because I started to doubt myself .. I could hear the voice "Pudgy, who do you think you are?".  But I stuck with my instincts and kept my answer as is.

2. Learn to let go of the things you love.  As much as I love wine education, I have to let it go.  It doesn't mean I stop loving it.  It just means, I won't dedicate so much time to it .. and maybe focus on other areas that need attention.  Wine will always be there and my connections to the wine industry will still be there.  There are plenty of other things that I need to go back to .. like taking care of my health, exercising, golf, baking, photography, yoga .. interior decorating?

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mixed feelings about graduation

sommelier graduation has come and gone.

i didn't realize that the end of the program would bring me a sense of sadness.  i've had a bit of time to process my journey over the last two years.  i remember when i started the program, many felt that it wasn't a good thing for me to do.  the reasons ranged from my physical health to my emotional health.  even knowing this, i went ahead with it anyway ..

i sought the approval of my doctors before enrolling.  my family doctor didn't approve.  my specialist gave me his blessing but on the condition that i be sensible about it.  at the time, if both doctors said no, then i'd strongly reconsider but i had already made up my mind to do it.  throughout the program, i did not take this "blessing" for granted.  there was always a voice in my head that said if i did anything to screw up my health, i wouldn't be able to finish the program.  this voice kept me in check and not once did i overindulge or drink to cover up pain or fill a void (and there was a lot of pain during the time).

it took a long time for my family to accept this new hobby of mine and because of that, i never really got to talk about my experiences early on.  with every course i completed, i got better and better at it and i wasn't able to share the joy i had in my accomplishments.  although my original intention was to impress someone, it started to change as i progressed.  i discovered that being in school and learning something new .. was a part of me that i really missed.  i rediscovered who i was .. and i started to become truly happy again.  i set my sights on the excellence award.  i believed that i could be a contender for the award, despite the lack of wine tasting experience.

i worked hard at the theoretical aspects and it helped me become a better taster.  yes, there are some benefits to sampling a lot of different wines to help you become a better blind taster but for someone like me, i relied on my knowledge of winemaking and viticultural practices to help me become a better blind taster.  if you know how it's grown, how it's made, and where it is from .. you can pretty much figure out what's in your glass.

the service exam was probably the most difficult test in the entire program.  there was no way to practice for this.  i remember putting together my wine list for the exam.  i remember losing sleep and worrying that i wouldn't be able to pronouce any of the wines on my list.  i also remember feeling defeated throughout the mock service, despite judge and wine critic Vic Harradine telling me that i was doing an excellent job.  when it was all said and done, i scored an A+. 

i wish i had better news to report in this post but my grades weren't enough to win the award on grad night.  i felt like i let myself down but i know that it wasn't meant to be.  the original intention to win the award was to prove myself to someone who really didn't matter.  and because of this, i knew that it wasn't going to happen.  the lesson that He would have me learn is that it is more important to believe in myself than to look for the approval of others.  and that i cannot change others - the only person i can change is myself.  i understand that now.  maybe if i believed in myself from the beginning, the story would have ended differently.

there is still more studying to be done.  wset level 3 exam is coming up and i've got to do my best .. for once, this was something i chose to enrol in because i believed in myself.  after this, my tasting group is looking to register for wset diploma (level 4) - a pre-requisite to Master of Wine.  let's just take this one step at a time, shall we?

 

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